When Somebody Loved Me
by Azahlea
Summary: Frerard - Songfic to "When Somebody Loved Me" by Sarah McLaughlin


_[i]When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful  
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart[/i]_

"Gee!" I squeaked, sailing through the air, landing on his back. I heard the "oomph" as we hit the ground.

"Frankie." he responded calmly, which made me giggle. We were sprawled on the floor of the bus, I was perched on his stomach and he was perfectly calm about it. "Mind getting off?" moment killer.

"But you're pretty!" I insisted, kissing his nose, loving how it scrunched up in response.

"You're not," he responded, still perfectly calm. I could feel my own face drop before a smirk split his face, all those tiny teeth winking at me. I knew what he was going to add before his hand came up to brush my bangs back from my face. "You're beautiful"

I kissed his lips, but lightly. This was what I loved most. Sure making out fooling around, it was all great. But honestly what I loved most was just, loving him. Thats right, Frank Iero loves Gerard way.

"I love you too," the words shocked me out of my space, and I felt heat rush into my cheeks.

"Um... did I say that out loud?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, ya did," he answered, the humor thick in his voice. Normally I would have pouted, but he pulled me into his chest and held me there, not quite a hug, but his arms weren't completely relaxed either. I was tucked under his chin, safe. I always felt safe in his arms. Warmth all around me, protection, i had to fight the urge to not break into "Everytime we touch", but you know thats me.

_[i]And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears  
And when she was happy, so was i, when she loved me.[/i]_

[b]sniffle sniffle sniffle[/b]

"Gerard? Gee?" I called softly following the sniffing sounds. It could mean one of two things when he was crying.

I rounded the corner and settled on option B, since "The Notebook" wasn't playing on the TV. Which meant I knew just where he was. Gerard Way does not cry that often, rarely in fact. It took a lot to make him upset.

Sure enough when I headed to the back of the bus he was curled into a ball on his bunk, sobbing, a photo next to him. "Gerard, Gee sweetie," I said again, this time not questioningly.

I sliped onto the bed and rested a hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles as he let it out. The photo was of an elderly woman with a warm smile, two boys standing next to her, grinning in that forced way kids do in photos. His grandmother. Every once in a while Gerard would be going through his stuff and find it under something or other. It always resulted in tears. "I just, mi-miss her so m-much!" he stuttered finally, uncurling to look at me, eyes somehow beautiful as ever, or even more so, sparkling with tears.

"I know, I know," I whispered, reaching up to cup his face in my hands, rubbing the tear-trails off his cheeks with my thumbs, kissing his lips softly, comfortingly. He smiled, slow and sad, but it made me mirror him and kiss him lightly again, although this time on his nose, hearing him giggle. Oh what a giggle.

_[i]Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all  
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be  
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her  
And I knew that she loved me.[/i]  
_

Back in Jersey, the end of the Revenge Era. And where was I? Where else would I be but standing on Gerards doorstep, knocking lightly.

A very ruffled Mikey opened the door, his hair sticking up all over the place and his glasses askew. "Sorry to wake you up Mikey, but is Gee home?" I grinned. They hadn't been expecting me for another week or two, but my parents had decided they wanted to take a cruise of all things. Old people, what can you do?

"No, actually, he's down at the park-" and with that the door slid shut and I could almost hear him collapse on the couch and go back to sleep. At two in the afternnoon.

The perfect boy was swinging, ipod in ears and lip sinking along. I could tell it was a sad song from the look on his face. As I watched he slowed to a stop, black tresses settling unevenly around his shoulders now windswept. He was just staring at his feet, so it seemed like a good time to say hello. Or, in this case, starting sprinting towards him. He didn't notice until I was five meters away. Too late.

I smashed into him, knocking him off the swing and onto his back in the woodchips. I perched on his stomach, but the swing that had been knocked sideways came swinging back and hit me in the head. Hard. "OW!" I exclaimed, feeling my eyes water.

"Karma," I looked down to see his cheeky grin.

"Hush you," I muttered, leaning down to kiss him.

_  
[i]So the years went by, I stayed the same  
And she began to drift away, I was left alone  
Still I waited for the day, when she'd say "i will always love you."[/i]_

"Gerard, when did you do that to your hair?" I finally asked, a few months after he got it done. I had been afriad he'd take it as me disliking his new style. His beautiful black hair was gone, now short and white as newly fallen snow. That's not to say I didn't like it, but I had no idea where that change come from, he hadn't said anything beforehand, just done it.

"Just a couple days before I saw you guys. Isn't it [i]weird[/i]? I keep going to push it behind my ears, but there's nothing there...." he trailed off, a silly smile on his face. I smiled too, I couldn't not smile, not when Gerard was that happy. I just nodded. Sure I could have deduced as much, but these days I always had to ask Gerard questions to get him to talk to me. It didn't flow like it used to.

When I jumped on his back for no reason, it wouldn't lead to giggling "i love yous" and my attemps to start a skittle war usually were now onesided, though he never told me to stop. I hadn't changed, it was stuff I'd always done, but he- my Gerard was changing, and it scared the living shit out of me. __

"I'm going to go see Lyn-Z," he called and off the bus he went. I liked Lyn-Z, I did. She was a great person, an amazing bassist... but she liked Gerard too much for my comfort zone. And it wasn't like he [i]told[/i] her he liked guys, or that we were a thing. But were we a thing anymore? I couldn't remember that last time we'd kissed, I mean really kissed not just a peck, and he'd stopped sneaking into my bunk to snuggle.

I sniffled and felt everything welling up inside of me. I was alone on the bus anyway, Ray, Bob and Mikey- the three musketeers of evil- were out pranking who knows, but you could be sure they were pranking someone. So I cired. "I love you, Gee" I mumbled into my knees around the choked sob. "I always will."

But there was no response, no warm arms and whispered nothings to calm me down. No "I love you too". I hadn't heard that in about a month.

_[i]Lonely and forgotten, never thought she'd look my way,  
She smiled at me and held me, just like she used to do,  
Like she loved me, when she loved me[/i]  
_

By the time the tour had ended, some year and a half later, and we had left to take some down time, Gerard had married Lyn-Z, and now they had a kid on the way. My heart was broken into too many peices to count. It didn't kill anymore, not like when Gerard had taken me aside and told me he didn't love me anymore, that he had, but he no longer did. Now it was a constant ache. He had used every line in the book, starting with "its not you, its me" but at least I knew that was true, I hadn't changed, to "and we could still be friends". We would always be friends, but never anything more, ever again.

Everyone thought I was over it, I married Jamia, and I smiled as much as I used to, I was just as hyper. And I loved Jamia, she was perfect, I loved everything about her. But whenever I saw Gerard when the guys would get together and do something, when he would just smile and say hi, no hug, no kiss, my hearts peices re-broke. I got very good at hiding it.

I hadn't see Gerard for a couple months. With the baby on the way, he was with his wife a lot, but we had to get writing for our new album.

"So guys!" Mikey popped up. "Wanna watch a movie or something?" we were all sprawled in Gerards living room, doing nothing whatsoever. I, personally, was watching Gerard out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help it, no matter how much I loved my wife- I loved him more.

"Yeah, sure, go find one in the cubboard Mikes," Gerard answered, swinging his legs around in the sofa so he was no longer upsidedown on it. I was the last to move from their respective places to the oversized couch. Bob and Ray were on Gerards right, Mikey sprawled across them, fast forwarding through the previews. The only spot was right next to Gerard, a spot only I could have fit in- which is to say I was sitting obnoxiously close to Gerard. AWKWARD.

I looked up at him (sure 2 inches up, but still) and he grinned. It was a grin he hadn't given me for too long, a grin he used to give before tackling me, or when we were about to do something naughty. Grabbing me he placed me solidy in his lap, hugging me like a giant teddybear. I squeaked, though not in protest. He hadn't done anything like this since we broke up. I giggled insanley, and the guys just laughed at us, knowing we were just playing around like we did on stage. I snuggled into him, and when the movie started and we all got settled I could pretend it was two years ago, and Gerards arms around me were meant in romantic love, not the friendship veriety.

_[i]When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,  
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart  
When she loved me. [/i]_


End file.
